Author Corey Donaldson Helps you Decide to “Stay Married or Get Divorced?”

Have you ever felt like you needed to enroll in Love University? Well, if there was such a school, Corey Donaldson would be one of your professors. And your required reading – Donaldson’s "Don’t You Dare Get Married Until You Read This". While preparing for his own marriage ten years ago, Corey Donaldson self-published the pre-marriage book (based on 1500 interviews) on questions to consider before marriage. It was an instant media hit across the nation and was later published by Random House Inc. Now years later Corey is divorced and has written a follow up to "Don’t You Dare…", titled STAY MARRIED OR GET DIVORCED, The rules and questions to consider before, during and after divorce.
The Author
Corey Donaldson is the president of www.TheFreedomAcademy.com. He has been interviewed in hundreds of newspapers and magazines including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Daily News and Mademoiselle. Corey has also been interviewed on more than 500 radio stations and on TV with Dick Clark and was a judge on the TLC reality TV show "Love University".
For the first time STAY MARRIED OR GET DIVORCED? – is being made available to the public who are wrestling with the divorce decision.
LATP:  What do you feel are the issues that led to your own divorce?
Corey Donaldson: The bottom line is that neither of us was living authentically to who we were. We were forcing the square into the round hole for too long, that is, until finally I felt an internal snap and I knew it was over in an instant.
At the end of the day, when what and who you are being is costing what you really want in life, then what and who you are being deserves a second, third, fourth and fifth look! The caution is that if your behavior is not delivering what you want, then maybe your behavior is not authentic.
LATP:  You wrote the original book “Don’t you Dare Get Married Until You Read This”; How do you rectify the fact that you divorced yourself?
CD:  It does not matter how you prepare for marriage, if you end up in divorce it stings. I wrote a book of questions to prepare for marriage and I made a great decision in getting married. I regret nothing. Nevertheless, rule 157 from my book is – All who divorce must come to terms with the sting of hypocrisy by virtue of broken vows! Regardless of how we prepare for marriage, if it ends we must come to terms with and find growth from our own hypocrisy.
LATP:  What are the signs that a marriage is over?
CD:  When you feel like you have to be someone else, when your phony behavior is indented to garner approval, when you are treated badly, when you are not relevant, when nothing you do is good enough, when you tolerate s**t that you know you shouldn’t, when you maintain a relationship that is exhausting, when you are being unkind and treating others badly, when you can feel that you are not being true to who you are and you know that something is off because of what you allow in your life – that is not living authentically!
When what you want in life is dictated by social convention, when you cave to assaults on your genuine self, when you evade moments of solitude that nature summons, when you place your authenticity on hold like spring tapped atrophied muscles, when you surround yourself with an individual or a group of people that terrorize your commitment to the reality of your truth, when you resign yourself to neutrality, as an adult – when you are living the way someone guilt’s you in to living, not only have you lost who you are, you are becoming another person, you are becoming something that not even animals will consider doing – they will not, they cannot change who and what they are for the will of something exterior, unless a cage or abuse is recruited.
LATP:  Is it possible to overcome years of non-communication?
CD:  Yes, it possible but the real issue is why would you want to? Really, you need to find an answer for this, and if you can’t find one what does that tell you? Consider also rule 147 – When you love moments of your history more than you love the anticipation of your future, a new future gets to be imagined.
LATP:  Can a married couple ever get past one spouse cheating?
CD:  There are some rules to consider here as an individual makes up their own mind on this question:
      Rule 1 – Your sex life is a reflection of the state of your marriage!
      Rule 13 – A spouse that won’t have sex has a spouse thinking of other options!
      Rule 99 – When you are not relevant in a relationship, excommunicate yourself!
      Rule 100 – Vows of celibacy are for the clergy, not the married!
      Rule 141 – When a man is in a relationship where the sex is eroding, he will question the relationship.
      Rule 142 – When a woman is in a relationship that is eroding, she will question having sex!
      Rule 136 – Sometimes it does not matter how great a companion you are, your partner will just f**k it up because it’s what they do, and that’s that!
LATP:  What if the couple has not had intimate relations for a long period of time? Is the marriage retrievable?
CD: There are a two rules that are relevant here:
Rule 145  – Many married men and woman act like a widower or widow respectively, in that they are in love with the memory of how their living spouse used to be!
This rule is mentioned above – Rule 1 – Your sex life is a reflection of the state of your marriage! This rule is the most important rule to consider in accurately reading where your marriage is at. The questions are – what does the sex or lack of sex tell you about the relationship? What story can be told about the relationship by looking only at the sex? By looking at these two questions a person can make their own assessment about the marriage being retrievable.
If you are in a marriage and are asking yourself if you should stay married or get divorced, perhaps it is the time to face reality, ask yourself the tough questions and face the facts. Corey Donaldson (The Decision Advisor) can help walk you through the decision making process.  The 160+ rules in his book are calculated to assist you in assessing the state of the marriage, make decisions about your future, deal with the fallout of your decisions and finally to extract the lessons of your experience. STAY MARRIED OR GET DIVORCED?  – is only available at www.TheFreedomAcademy.com