If you’ve never read Jodi Picoult’s Handle With Care, then you have a real treat ahead of you– especially if you’re a fan of novels that examine the tricky inner workings of families, morality, and mental illness. But when you first pick up this book, you wouldn’t expect it to be about mental illness at all. That’s because the story centers around the character of Willow, the disabled youngest daughter of the family. Willow was born with a rare and very painful condition called osteogenesis imperfecta. It’s often referred to as “brittle bone syndrome” because, in practice, this condition means that Willow is at a much greater risk of breaking bones.
A person who does not live with “brittle bone syndrome” might go their entire life without breaking a bone. Unless you fall out of a tree or off your bike, land the wrong way, or get tackled playing football, you might never break a bone at all. But not Willow. Willow’s bones are so fragile that she can break her wrist lifting a glass of water, shatter her leg by getting out of the bathtub. She can break bones by sneezing, by laughing, by doing anything at all. As a result, it’s no surprise that Willow’s parents spend their lives being gripped by fear. They are afraid for Willow all the time: for her health, for her safety, for her happiness, for the possibility that she may never feel as though she has a “normal life.”
So, it’s hardly surprising that Willow’s parents’ lives are dictated by their desperate efforts to keep Willow as comfortable as possible. In between a plethora of doctor’s appointments, surgeries, and treatments, they try to help her make friends and help her develop a positive sense of self-esteem. No one could blame them for being so consumed with Willow that everything else falls by the wayside. How could you think about bills and jobs and the trappings of a “normal life” in those circumstances? As readers follow along with the story of Willow and her parents, most people would agree that this family deserves to be cut a lot of slack.
Most people, that is, except Willow’s sister Amelia. Because there’s no doubt about it: Willow has a very difficult life and her parents are between a rock and a hard place as they struggle to care for her. But Amelia doesn’t have it easy herself. As the only able-bodied child in the family, Amelia is often left to fend for herself. Her bones work properly, so her parents often assume that she is completely fine. In fact, they often forget her altogether. While they’re consumed with caring for Willow, her parents regularly neglect Amelia, failing to remember that she has needs too… and that her struggles may lurk beneath the surface.
And because she feels so empty, so neglected, Amelia begins to develop problems of her own. She feels unloved and invisible at home and at school, so she eats to comfort herself. Sometimes she eats 16 candy bars at once. Sometimes it’s an entire loaf of bread. Sometimes she sneaks into the kitchen after midnight and eats everything she can find in the refrigerator. Amelia eats and eats and eats in a desperate attempt to fill the gaping void that lurks within her. And when she is too full to eat anymore, Amelia makes herself throw up. At home, in the bathroom, she shares with Willow, and in-between her classes at school. Multiple times every day, Amelia sticks her finger down her throat, forcing herself to vomit everything she used to fill the void.
This cycle of silent suffering goes unnoticed for years. Amelia’s parents are too busy with Willow to notice. Her teachers and friends are oblivious. So, day after day, Amelia tortures herself and her body in a silent cry for help. Without giving away any spoilers, I’ll say that the story ends on a bittersweet note and Amelia does (eventually) get the help she needs. But although Amelia’s story is fictional, the symptoms she lives with are not. People of all ages, genders, and ethnicities struggle with binge-eating disorder, often without getting access to the help they need.
The circumstances that cause someone to develop an eating disorder often vary from person to person. But in many cases, just like Amelia, people binge-eat because they feel empty, depressed, or alone. So, if you or someone you love is experiencing any of the symptoms reflected in this article, you should know that help is within reach. If you regularly find yourself overeating and feel unable to stop, you’re not “crazy” or “disgusting” or “fat,” or any other negative attributes Amelia associated with her own binge-eating behavior. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s for a reason. And you deserve to get to the bottom of that reason.
Your peace, happiness, and mental health are worth the hard work of learning more about your symptoms. This journey of self-discovery can be painful but the peace you’ll find in the end will be worth it. Binge-eating disorder is commonly treated through therapy and there are many therapists who specialize in eating disorders. So, if you’re ready to take the first step on your journey to getting help, you can start by taking this free binge-eating disorder test from Mind Diagnostics. This test is a self-guided questionnaire that can be completed from the comfort and privacy of your own home. It is not the same as a professional diagnosis from a therapist and your results are completely confidential.
So, even though this test does not replace a diagnosis from a mental health professional, it can be an important first step that helps you evaluate your symptoms and your treatment options. So, don’t be afraid to take the first step, learn more about your symptoms, and reach out for help.
Feature photo by Polina Tankilevitch
