Although divorces have become very common (and it’s been like this for a couple of decades, for sure), it doesn’t make them anything less painful, not only for both sides but for the children too.
However, if you take a look at the statistics, you’ll see that a vast majority of people who go through divorce, at some point, remarry, which is completely fine, because, at the end of the day, your love life (or life, in general) shouldn’t end just because you are no longer married.
But on the other hand, when you’re a single parent and have a young kid, it can be pretty difficult to bring the love topic up, because you can never predict how they are going to react. Luckily, there are plenty of ways you can smoothly do this, and these are the steps that you should consider.
Why Are You Doing It In The First Place?
First things first, before you take any further steps as far as this is concerned, you need to have a self-talk and determine why you think that now is the perfect time to talk about this with your child.
Has anything happened that’s worth mentioning when it comes to this? Or, you are simply ready to welcome online dating into your life, so you think that it’s high time to be open about this. Whatever the reason may be, you should be one hundred percent certain of your decision.
This is particularly pivotal if you have a very young kiddo, or teenager because they are most sensitive to these sorts of changes. There are lots of people who have the tendency to start dating just because they do not want to be alone, not because they are fully ready to have a partner again.
This can be tricky because you already have a child, and making the wrong choice so quickly can be pretty damaging for them. That’s exactly why it would be smart to first carefully analyze your motives before you bring up this topic with your kid.
Have You Talked About This With The Father/Mother Of The Child?
Now, probably a lot of you will roll your eyes at this because you think that your ex shouldn’t be concerned with your life or meddle in any way, but what you need to understand is that the two of you have a child together, and that you need to always work together for their benefit.
After all, frequently, former spouses can actually be of huge help in these instances. Keep in mind that this is generally a very sensitive subject (especially if it has been that long since you divorced), and that consultation with the other parent is always a good idea.
On the flip side, if your kiddo doesn’t have any contact with the other parent, or their overall relationship isn’t that strong, then you should think of different ways that will help you handle this situation the right way.
The Age Of Your Little One Must Also Be Taken Into Account
This conclusion was already mentioned previously, but in this segment, it will further be discussed. Although at first glance, you may think that your kid’s age doesn’t play any major role as far as this goes, this theory is, in fact, so far-fetched.
How come, you’re probably wondering? Well, that’s because the younger children are, the harder is going to be for them to fully understand what online dating is and your overall desire to start dating again.
That’s because they are used to seeing only “mommy” and “daddy”, and now, that there’s a chance a new adult may become part of their life, they may be puzzled by all of this. Not to mention the fact that there’s a chance that they may start perceiving your potential partner as a “threat” because they are trying to “steal” you from them.
Of course, these sorts of reactions and behaviors are completely normal and showcase that they want nothing more but your love and affection, but what you need to understand is that they are still very young and there’s a very high risk that they’ll understand things the wrong way, unlike older children. That’s simply because they aren’t old enough to think rationally and distinguish certain things.
If you notice that your kiddo is still grieving and may not feel ready for this change, then you have two options at your disposal. You can either put online dating on hold, for the time being or maybe consider consulting a pedagogue to see what they’ll suggest when it comes to this.
Talk About This At Home
Even though this topic can be discussed practically anywhere, if you want to increase the chance of a favorable outcome, then you should definitely consider doing it at home. Why is that?
Well, that’s because your kid perceives their home as the space where they feel the safest and most comfortable, and although there’s no guarantee that they’ll react differently (when you tell them that online dating is in your plans) just because they are at home, at least, the two of you will feel a lot more comfortable talking about this when you’re in a space where you can fully relax.
Take Things Slowly
If you think that it is too soon for this topic or that your little one is too touchy right now, then the best thing that you can do is to take things slowly. Before you meet someone in person, or even create a profile on a dating app or website, you should discreetly bring up this topic when you’re alone with your child.
The whole point of this is to “test the water”. You can do so by saying that someone you know tried out online dating, or anything similar to that, and then the two of you can further delve into this topic.
The reality is that there’s no such thing as a list of instructions that will guarantee you that everything will turn out perfect during this transition. However, what you can do is implement at least one of these tips to see how it will go.
Feature photo by Marcisim.