Summer is here! Sunny weather, blue skies, and a chance to have fun are all guarantees. If you’re a parent and have kids on break from school, it would only be natural to want to make exciting memories to last a lifetime. Sometimes though it’s not just as simple as packing your bags and rushing out the door. Parents that are divorced and share joint custody have some extra considerations to make before planning any kind of trip, especially if the trip is out-of-state or even international. No need to sweat it though! (No summer pun intended). Here are a few ways you can have a spectacular summer even when dealing with the thorny issue of your ex.
Communication Is Key
Seems like a no-brainer, right? As uncomfortable as it can be, talking to your ex is crucial for setting up a vacation in the first place. Being civil is probably the way to go if you’re not on particularly friendly terms with your ex. Communication should flow easily and be respectful. It should also happen early…and often! You want to make sure your ex has all the information they need to approve your trip and be informed about what their child will be doing. It’s just common courtesy.
The two of you would probably want to talk about details such as the length of the trip, your contact and emergency info, flight info, accommodations, etc. It can help put the other party’s mind at ease and maybe even open up the floor for sharing some of the costs! It should also be noted that if you’re making child support payments, the gifts you buy do not count toward that obligation. It is nice however to help coordinate finances beyond legal obligations to ensure that your children have a good time.
Don’t Forget The Thing That Truly Matters
Talking to your ex and planning a vacation are two individually stressful tasks. Combined, they can be rather daunting, but don’t forget why you’re planning the vacation in the first place! Perhaps the most important thing you can do as a co-parent is to keep your children’s needs your top priority. Your children always come first and it’s best to keep that attitude throughout the process.
Something you might want to consider is getting their input on vacation planning! Children do best when they have structure, but it’s much more fun to have a say in planning than just having plans passed down from above. It’s a safe bet for avoiding resentment or sulkiness while also giving your child the opportunity to voice what they would rather do if they’re not fully on board with a co-parent’s plans.
The Legal Stuff
Before making any decisions related to summer plans with your kids, it’s best to consult with your divorce mediation attorney. They would be able to answer any questions you might have about the law or your written agreements with your ex and how to adhere to them. Getting a court involved can also be good for if a spouse is being unreasonable and may not be sticking to the guidelines agreed upon in your standard possession order (SPO) that talks about visitation. Another example would be if you wanted to go abroad for your trip, and your ex didn’t want to sign for your child’s passport, a court could step in to help. Ultimately, however, it is best to try to be flexible with travel arrangements so long as the trip is safe and fun for your kids.
Veronica Davis is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant operating out of the greater Philadelphia area. She writes for Philadelphia divorce lawyers Schwartz, Fox, & Saltzman.
Feature photo by Gerd Altmann
