It is trivially the case that you have known your child since the day they were born. Despite that fact, many parents end up feeling like they don’t know their kids at all by the time they hit their middle teens. Their shoe size changes by the day, as does their hobbies, favorite bands, and romantic interests.
With so much change in a teen’s life, it is hard to keep up in a meaningful way. Part of what is going on is the natural process of a teen breaking away from the past and embarking on the journey of becoming their own person. Every teen goes through it. And in some ways, they have to go through it alone.
In other ways, you never really take your hands off the reigns. Their bodies might look mature. But their brains are far from completely developed. Whether they know it or not, they still need you as a guiding influence in their lives. It is up to you to figure out just how to do that in this brave, new, digital world. Here are a few suggestions:
Get to Know Their Digital Friends
You don’t have to hire the nerdy kid down the block to hack into your teen’s Facebook account. You can take a more direct approach. Find out who their friends are by going with them to school events and take note of who they spend time with. Invite their friends over for dinner, or a camping weekend, or any pretense necessary to spend time with them and get to know them better.
The harsh reality is that teens are very likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol at an even earlier age than you did. There is probably no way to stop it from happening. But you can get a leg up on the situation by getting to know their digital buddies in real life.
One of the leading providers of teen treatment in Santa Barbara had this to say:
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), people are most likely to begin abusing alcohol as well as illegal and prescription drugs during adolescence. In fact, by the time they are seniors, almost 70 percent of high school students will have tried alcohol, half will have taken an illegal drug, and more than 20 percent will have used a prescription drug for non-medical purposes.
It is good that your kids are keeping up with their friends in the digital world. But you can be much more proactive by making them a part of your real-world activities.
Upgrade Their Digital Education Tools
It might not be in the budget to buy each of your kids a MacBook Pro for school. They might have to get by with something a bit more down to earth. But you can upgrade the other tools that will help give them a leg up when doing virtual school work.
Today’s students need more than autocorrect to get by these days. Grammar and plagiarism checkers are a must these days. Your kids will also need a way to network with their classmates while socially distancing. That means a video conferencing service is a must for team projects. Just be sure that your hardware and service choices are compatible with the school’s technical requirements. Not all hardware and services ecosystems play nicely together.
Stay Connected
Apple recently announced the Apple Watch SE and Family Setup. This was presented as an option for parents who wanted their kids to have phone capabilities without the phone and large data plan that comes with it.
In the form factor of a watch, the phone is literally strapped to their wrist at all times. It is very hard to lose when out and about. It also allows parents to set controls on what the child can do on the device. The watch is limiting enough. But you can make it even more distraction-free during class time. If your child is going to wear a watch anyway, why not one that can make calls, track their location, and call emergency services if they run into serious trouble?
Just because your kid is getting to that age of independence and experimentation doesn’t mean you can’t still be a part of his digital life. Bring as much of their digital friendships into the real world. Enhance their digital tools for a better education experience. And use smart wearables to stay connected no matter where their new-found independence takes them.
