Comments on: Dr. V Offers an Alternative Approach to Therapy http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/ The Premier Online Magazine for Los Angeles Mon, 15 Mar 2010 15:36:15 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: kevin http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-6767 kevin Thu, 15 Nov 2007 05:48:25 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-6767 An "epidemic of loneliness"....so true. Especially in Los Angeles. Reading this around the holidays is even more real. Families are dispursed everywhere---no sense of togetherness. Even when most of us are together we're worried about what others are thinking as opposed to directing our attention outward and living in the moment. I liked this article---it's meaningful. An “epidemic of loneliness”….so true. Especially in Los Angeles. Reading this around the holidays is even more real. Families are dispursed everywhere—no sense of togetherness. Even when most of us are together we’re worried about what others are thinking as opposed to directing our attention outward and living in the moment. I liked this article—it’s meaningful.

]]> By: Kim Halverson http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-6680 Kim Halverson Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:09:30 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-6680 I love that Dr.V also lives these words too. I was at a party feeling drained from a long work week. She noticed and was so kind to ask if I was feeling alright. Thanks for your empathy Dr.V! I love that Dr.V also lives these words too. I was at a party feeling drained from a long work week. She noticed and was so kind to ask if I was feeling alright. Thanks for your empathy Dr.V!

]]> By: Dr. V http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-6623 Dr. V Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:31:55 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-6623 Dear Sharon, How do we take the focus off ourselves? Get involve in your neighborhood or community. According to research, the only way we?ll ever feel good about ourselves is by helping other people. Service to others and leaving a lasting legacy is really at the core of the deepest human needs. Strong relationships and community keep us true to who we are and help us see what our lives are meant to be. Dr. V Dear Sharon,
How do we take the focus off ourselves?
Get involve in your neighborhood or community. According to research, the only way we?ll ever feel good about ourselves is by helping other people. Service to others and leaving a lasting legacy is really at the core of the deepest human needs. Strong relationships and community keep us true to who we are and help us see what our lives are meant to be.
Dr. V

]]> By: Julie http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-6517 Julie Wed, 14 Nov 2007 05:10:28 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-6517 OMG! I totally ran into this woman at a "Ladies Who Launch" event!! We got to chit chatting or rather, I was talking and she was listening---and now I'm reading about her---weird. She however, is incredible---so disarming and genuine. Further, she's so gorgeous----there's this light around her that makes her even more gorgeous and she's brilliant! I really enjoyed talking with her. I'm glad to see interesting people getting some press for a change. OMG! I totally ran into this woman at a “Ladies Who Launch” event!! We got to chit chatting or rather, I was talking and she was listening—and now I’m reading about her—weird. She however, is incredible—so disarming and genuine. Further, she’s so gorgeous—-there’s this light around her that makes her even more gorgeous and she’s brilliant! I really enjoyed talking with her. I’m glad to see interesting people getting some press for a change.

]]> By: sharon http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-6514 sharon Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:53:25 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-6514 This is all very interesting---I think this woman is on to something. I was watching the presidential candidate debates a few months ago and both leading candidates used the word "empathy" a few times in their speeches. I rarely use the word and used to think it was the same as sympathy but I looked it up and it's not. I think she's so right but how do we change? How do we take the focus off of ourselves? I like the overall message ---it's totally different than your average shrink dispensing advice----she actually has a message that I think many people would listen too. It seems as though she has a like-ability factor, as well. This is all very interesting—I think this woman is on to something. I was watching the presidential candidate debates a few months ago and both leading candidates used the word “empathy” a few times in their speeches. I rarely use the word and used to think it was the same as sympathy but I looked it up and it’s not. I think she’s so right but how do we change? How do we take the focus off of ourselves?
I like the overall message —it’s totally different than your average shrink dispensing advice—-she actually has a message that I think many people would listen too. It seems as though she has a like-ability factor, as well.

]]> By: Dr. V http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-5737 Dr. V Sun, 11 Nov 2007 08:25:37 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-5737 Gianna, Oooo?Great question! Negotiating is all about ?competing needs?; you want something from them, they want something from you. The better equipped you are in understanding your own motivations, the better position you?ll be in to understand your opposition: So, ask yourself, ?In this transaction what is driving me?? --- fear, anger, unworthiness, rejection etc?? When you?re feeling any of these feelings what do you do to cope? In other words, what ?soothes? you? After you have yourself figured out, you?re now more in tune with the other person. For example, let?s say fear is your motivating factor and when you?re afraid you feel better if you?re heard and understood and let?s say you pick up just a hint of this in the opposition--- listen, understand and soothe all your opposition?s fears and doubts?authentically and genuinely . Your humanity will grant you everything you need, the connection will be deeper and they?ll be more inclined to meet your needs. I have more to say on this?.---but that's just a quick example Dr. V Gianna,
Oooo?Great question! Negotiating is all about ?competing needs?; you want something from them, they want something from you. The better equipped you are in understanding your own motivations, the better position you?ll be in to understand your opposition: So, ask yourself, ?In this transaction what is driving me?? — fear, anger, unworthiness, rejection etc?? When you?re feeling any of these feelings what do you do to cope? In other words, what ?soothes? you? After you have yourself figured out, you?re now more in tune with the other person. For example, let?s say fear is your motivating factor and when you?re afraid you feel better if you?re heard and understood and let?s say you pick up just a hint of this in the opposition— listen, understand and soothe all your opposition?s fears and doubts?authentically and genuinely . Your humanity will grant you everything you need, the connection will be deeper and they?ll be more inclined to meet your needs. I have more to say on this?.—but that’s just a quick example
Dr. V

]]> By: Gianna http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-5713 Gianna Sun, 11 Nov 2007 05:01:23 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-5713 <p>Hi Dr. V,</p> <p>I'm sitting here with a friend who asks: "How do you empathize when negotiating in business? </p> Hi Dr. V,

I’m sitting here with a friend who asks: "How do you empathize when negotiating in business?

]]> By: Bridget G. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3985 Bridget G. Mon, 05 Nov 2007 23:55:24 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-3985 What I like about Dr. V is she has the ability to see things clearly, with empathy, and truly believes in helping people, not necessarily changing them for the sake of changing them. She's really a great person. What I like about Dr. V is she has the ability to see things clearly, with empathy, and truly believes in helping people, not necessarily changing them for the sake of changing them. She’s really a great person.

]]> By: Catherine L. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3382 Catherine L. Sat, 03 Nov 2007 00:25:36 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-3382 What a great article. Dr. V is truly an amazing person. She has changed my life with empathy. To know her is to believe that all people are good. She looks at the world in a way that brings hope. I am truly blessed to have her in my life. What a great article. Dr. V is truly an amazing person. She has changed my life with empathy. To know her is to believe that all people are good. She looks at the world in a way that brings hope. I am truly blessed to have her in my life.

]]> By: Amy F. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3014 Amy F. Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:33:31 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-3014 Dr. V is truly a ray of sunshine-y hope in a sometimes jaded city. Her love of humanity, boundless generosity and enthusiasm, true kindness, and sparkling smile and laugh are deeply inspiring to me. If you have the opportunity to know her, it is a blessing and a gift. Dr. V is truly a ray of sunshine-y hope in a sometimes jaded city. Her love of humanity, boundless generosity and enthusiasm, true kindness, and sparkling smile and laugh are deeply inspiring to me. If you have the opportunity to know her, it is a blessing and a gift.

]]> By: Melany Friedlander http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3013 Melany Friedlander Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:30:44 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-3013 Dear Dr. V': Your statement, that "there is an epidemic of loneliness sweeping this country," is right on point! As a member of the healing profession, I've witnessed this sad truth time and time again with almost every single one of my clients. In our society, we are constantly looking to external sources for happiness, constantly looking to "trade up" (better car, better house, better spouse). But once we've aquired the "upgraded" product or person, we realize that we're still unhappy. Why? Because, as you correctly point out, we lack the ability to deeply connect with that which is already in front of us. I applaude your commitment to eradicate this sad epidemic by educating your clients about the importance of empathy. Dear Dr. V’:
Your statement, that “there is an epidemic of loneliness sweeping this country,” is right on point! As a member of the healing profession, I’ve witnessed this sad truth time and time again with almost every single one of my clients. In our society, we are constantly looking to external sources for happiness, constantly looking to “trade up” (better car, better house, better spouse). But once we’ve aquired the “upgraded” product or person, we realize that we’re still unhappy. Why? Because, as you correctly point out, we lack the ability to deeply connect with that which is already in front of us. I applaude your commitment to eradicate this sad epidemic by educating your clients about the importance of empathy.

]]> By: Michelle B http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2905 Michelle B Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:48:41 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2905 This is great information and much needed advice! We all need to be reminded that empathy is the way to bridge gaps between parents and kids, adults and our communities. Thank you Dr. V for raising the awareness on this serious issue! This is great information and much needed advice! We all need to be reminded that empathy is the way to bridge gaps between parents and kids, adults and our communities. Thank you Dr. V for raising the awareness on this serious issue!

]]> By: Vonny Faucheux http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2902 Vonny Faucheux Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:24:22 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2902 This is so true and such great advice for all of us to live by...we truely are a "me culture" and its very unattractive...I will be sending this article to all of my family and friends!!! This should be everyone's new years resolution!! "Be Empathetic" Good work Venus..looking forward to seeing you SOON...Vonny This is so true and such great advice for all of us to live by…we truely are a “me culture” and its very unattractive…I will be sending this article to all of my family and friends!!! This should be everyone’s new years resolution!! “Be Empathetic” Good work Venus..looking forward to seeing you SOON…Vonny

]]> By: Kitty McCray http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2887 Kitty McCray Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:10:15 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2887 Hi Ven, Great article. Our pill-popping generation is always looking for the quick fix and not the deeper answers. I don't believe everyone has empathy for their fellow man, especially enemies. That would be the hard way out and we are always looking for the easy way out. Takes a lot of hard work and a dismissal of your initial feelings, and choosing to take a deeper look. Aunt Catherine Hi Ven,

Great article. Our pill-popping generation is always looking for the quick fix and not the deeper answers. I don’t believe everyone has empathy for their fellow man, especially enemies. That would be the hard way out and we are always looking for the easy way out. Takes a lot of hard work and a dismissal of your initial feelings, and choosing to take a deeper look.

Aunt Catherine

]]> By: Jennifer H. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2861 Jennifer H. Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:24:44 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2861 Dr. V.!! What a wonderful message! I read a book called Compassion in Action by Ram Dass and Murabai Bush. I think of compassion and empathy as very similar. It seems like so much of the world is wired to react rather than to respond. I am so glad such a wonderful and intelligent woman is spreading the word and healing the world one person at a time. You're the best! Dr. V.!!

What a wonderful message!

I read a book called Compassion in Action by Ram Dass and Murabai Bush.

I think of compassion and empathy as very similar. It seems like so much of the world is wired to react rather than to respond.

I am so glad such a wonderful and intelligent woman is spreading the word and healing the world one person at a time.

You’re the best!

]]> By: Lance M. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2859 Lance M. Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:08:42 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2859 I think Dr. V has some great points here. I do believe this world lacks empathy and she is definitely onto something. I have seen this both in the work world and in my children's interactions with other school children. When did this world stop caring about one another? I don't know how we fix this problem, that appears to be an epidemic. Is it our capitalist society that over time has metamorphised from the American Dream of the 50s to the American Extreme of the 21st century. Perhaps we are substituting our need for a common bond with our love of materialism - people for objects...sad. Keep up the good work Dr. V - with Doctors like you - perhaps there is hope. P.S. you are one great looking doctor! I think Dr. V has some great points here. I do believe this world lacks empathy and she is definitely onto something. I have seen this both in the work world and in my children’s interactions with other school children. When did this world stop caring about one another? I don’t know how we fix this problem, that appears to be an epidemic. Is it our capitalist society that over time has metamorphised from the American Dream of the 50s to the American Extreme of the 21st century. Perhaps we are substituting our need for a common bond with our love of materialism – people for objects…sad. Keep up the good work Dr. V – with Doctors like you – perhaps there is hope.

P.S. you are one great looking doctor!

]]> By: Anna M. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2854 Anna M. Tue, 30 Oct 2007 04:36:24 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2854 It's a very interesting take on the world. I never really thought about "empathy" but when I do, I can see where the doctor gets her theory. Everytime I was able to see another person's point or tried to put myself in his or her shoes, the dynamic changed...for the better. I like what she has to say because it's not about pill popping or a quick fix but about really understanding a more gentle side of humanity. It’s a very interesting take on the world. I never really thought about “empathy” but when I do, I can see where the doctor gets her theory. Everytime I was able to see another person’s point or tried to put myself in his or her shoes, the dynamic changed…for the better. I like what she has to say because it’s not about pill popping or a quick fix but about really understanding a more gentle side of humanity.

]]> By: Meeshy K. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2806 Meeshy K. Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:16:31 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2806 Dr. V, You are wonderful!! I thank you for all your great advice. I truly miss my sessions with you while sipping hot chocolate.:)Meeshy Dr. V,
You are wonderful!! I thank you for all your great advice. I truly miss my sessions with you while sipping hot chocolate.:)Meeshy

]]> By: Asher D. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2703 Asher D. Sun, 28 Oct 2007 23:19:37 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2703 I congratulate Dr.V on championing a more empathetic attitude in a city that has developed a (sometimes well-deserved) reputation for being self involved. I would be interested in learning more about her philosophies. I congratulate Dr.V on championing a more empathetic attitude in a city that has developed a (sometimes well-deserved) reputation for being self involved. I would be interested in learning more about her philosophies.

]]> By: Victoria M. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2689 Victoria M. Sun, 28 Oct 2007 21:33:52 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2689 I agree with Dr. V. Empathy is lacking in our society, especial our children. I have two kids of my own and Dr. V explained to me her thoughts reguarding empathy and how it is one of the most important things we can teach our children. I remember her words daily as I try and rear my children, our future. I agree with Dr. V. Empathy is lacking in our society, especial our children. I have two kids of my own and Dr. V explained to me her thoughts reguarding empathy and how it is one of the most important things we can teach our children. I remember her words daily as I try and rear my children, our future.

]]> By: Amy http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2677 Amy Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:31:21 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2677 Dr. Venus has provided insightful, caring and supportive guidance to those around us and in our community. She is a valuable member of the well-being team! Dr. Venus has provided insightful, caring and supportive guidance to those
around us and in our community. She is a valuable member of the well-being
team!

]]> By: Doug S. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2672 Doug S. Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:59:53 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2672 With our continued acceleration of cultural narcissism, medication has become the norm. Many people think they are deficient in chemicals, yet upon deeper examination, we can see that our cultually celebrated narcissism is our true illness, the cause of self-centered misery. This misery is not our fault, but simply a bi-product of our conditioned aim to "fit in and win." Dr. V has the heart and "know how" to break through our self destructive narcissism and brings us to the vast and wonderful human landscape of compassion and empathy. This empathy is the place where true friendship and love resides. Thanks Dr. V. With our continued acceleration of cultural narcissism, medication has become the norm. Many people think they are deficient in chemicals, yet upon deeper examination, we can see that our cultually celebrated narcissism is our true illness, the cause of self-centered misery. This misery is not our fault, but simply a bi-product of our conditioned aim to “fit in and win.” Dr. V has the heart and “know how” to break through our self destructive narcissism and brings us to the vast and wonderful human landscape of compassion and empathy. This empathy is the place where true friendship and love resides. Thanks Dr. V.

]]> By: Janice M. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2466 Janice M. Sat, 27 Oct 2007 06:12:24 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2466 Dr V speaks of true dedication to psych services and empowering her clients. Her message on empathy is a testament to the helping profession and her dedication to client recovery. Friends and clients alike have been fortunate to cross paths with Dr V. Dr V speaks of true dedication to psych services and empowering her clients. Her message on empathy is a testament to the helping profession and her dedication to client recovery. Friends and clients alike have been fortunate to cross paths with Dr V.

]]> By: Ronnit S. http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/26/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-2444 Ronnit S. Sat, 27 Oct 2007 02:57:57 +0000 http://lastheplace.com/2007/10/25/dr-v-offers-an-alternative-approach-to-therapy/#comment-2444 Dear Dr. V. How can you be empathy with people that you have problem with? I feel angry at them and I can't make a deep connections with them. I know that love and hate are very thin line. but it is very hard for me to feel love to the people that hurt me. Can you help me? R. Dear Dr. V.
How can you be empathy with people that you have problem with? I feel angry at them and I can’t make a deep connections with them.
I know that love and hate are very thin line.
but it is very hard for me to feel love to the people that hurt me.
Can you help me?
R.

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